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No more [May. 23rd, 2006|05:12 pm]
This journal was started at the beginning of my College career at Simmons College. I have now graduated. Thus this journal is done.

Livejournal has caused more fights than it is worth. If you would like to know what is happening in my life, write me an email. I am not going to have casual friends who are casual readers.

So long Simmons College. So long casual friends.
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deep thoughts [Apr. 25th, 2004|11:47 pm]
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
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yay! [Feb. 5th, 2004|08:10 pm]
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |all new music!]

good times, good times.
Unicorns are a girl's best friend.
I am going to be in a band being "the girl"

oh, and all I need is a tambourine.
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the first piece in a while: what do you think? [Dec. 6th, 2003|05:40 pm]
Standing in the middle of this populated city, I feel intensely alone. However, I am intoxicatingly aware of everything that is going on around me in this giant world. People walk past me constantly and brush against my shoulders. Some are obviously in a hurry, and others walk languidly along with a peaceful look on their face. I can feel the cloth of their jackets against mine and every time I catch some stranger’s eyes, I wish to stop and ask them where they are headed, why they are going there and who will be there when they arrive. Instead of fulfilling my wish, I look up at the black sky to avoid their intriguing eyes. My breath filters into the air – it floats above me and then quietly slides away as the wind carries it off to a better fate. Chaos has taken over the world and continues to echo through each square mile, but I stand perfectly still and let the madness carry on without me. I am waiting for something, although I do not know what.

Buildings tower above my frame and look down disapprovingly, staring at me with their hundreds of glass eyes. There are lights coming from inside the heart of this city that illuminate even the outskirts. These lights surround me and fill me with warmth despite the cold bitter air that tries to crawl into the depths of my skin. I am wrapped snuggly in layers and jackets and hats and gloves and scarves. My nose sticks out past all of this cloth and the winter wind turns it a fleshy shade of red. It is cold against the touch of warm skin, but not quite as cold as the air that occupies the void that makes up much of this earth.

Snow is softly swirling down from the dark sky and lightly painting the city a perfect shade of milky white. It lies motionless on the ground, crunching under the stranger’s shoes that walk by me. I kick some gently into the air and it rises in a sparkling cloud. It seems to glitter and shine in the midair for minutes before finally leaving the openness of the piercing December air and coming…

Back down.

Individual flakes are difficult to identify, and even harder to catch, but one manages to find its way to the tip of my wool-covered finger and lies there stationary. I cautiously bring my face closer to this tiny work of art and am careful not to breathe too deeply. The single snowflake glows like a piece of crystal and has such intricate patterns and crevasses that I am actually afraid of it for one small moment. I could let it sit on my glove for the rest of its brief life, but instead I inhale and let out a small breath and watch it fade into seemingly nothing, although I know it has become a miniscule droplet of water so small that I would never notice it even if it hit my bare skin. I am amazed at this particle that is able to morph so quickly and so easily.

I am so absorbed in this complex realm of snowflakes and crystals that I am completely unaware of anyone around me now. The chaotic undertone of the city continues to whirl as I slip deeper into my own thoughts and fantasies. Despite the harshness of the typical New England winter, I fall in love with the first snowfall every year. I could watch it snow for hours upon end if the weather would only just cooperate with me for once. Too often, I wait impatiently for snow, only to be disappointed and have just the hard, grey concrete to look at. Now, however, nature has smiled down on me and given me the most beautiful gift of all.

Suddenly I am jerked out of my small, yet infinitely vast, frozen world. I hold reluctantly back at first, but grudgingly I accept reality and force myself to focus once again. It is quite early on a Saturday and I am far from the work that awaits me at my dorm room. I nod absently to myself and pursue South Hall at a quick pace down the frigid concrete of the sidewalk. I can once again feel my jacket brush past other’s as I make my way back to Brookline Ave, only this time I am the one who is on a journey to some unknown destination. I look upward to the night sky and bid one last goodbye to the falling snow that glows a pale yellow against the illuminated street lamps. Something happens inside of me and I am unexpectedly reminded of why I take part in this fast paced and chaotic life instead of slipping away permanently into my intricate world of snowflakes and softly glowing lights.
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(no subject) [Nov. 18th, 2003|11:06 pm]
"I don't think your math books are down my pants"
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hummmm [Nov. 9th, 2003|06:18 pm]
Does financial aid cause tuition increases?
By Christopher Shea, 11/9/2003

REPUBLICANS IN the House of Representatives have lately been asking a question that makes the higher education establishment very nervous: Does federal financial aid simply give colleges an excuse to raise tuition higher and faster than they otherwise would?

When then-Secretary of Education William J. Bennett made the argument 16 years ago in a New York Times op-ed titled "Our Greedy Colleges," most higher-education economists rejected it as simplistic and ideologically convenient. But the thesis is getting a new hearing in these times of endlessly skyrocketing tuition and government budget deficits. According to a report by the College Board issued last month, tuition at private colleges is up six percent (to an average of $19,700) this year, while in-state tuition at four-year public colleges jumped 14 percent, to $4,700.

The federal government will provide about $65 billion in grants and loans to students this year, but there is unlikely to be much more additional money in coming years. Whether from necessity or principle, some Republicans now argue that holding the line on aid might be just the ticket to keep college costs down. (Last month, Republican lawmakers introduced a bill that would withhold federal grants from colleges that raised tuition at more than twice the rate of inflation.)

Colleges, however, say a failure to increase federal financial aid would hurt poor students. And most economists who study tuition seem skeptical of the idea that aid has gone from being part of the solution to part of the problem. "I don't think the evidence that that has occurred is particularly strong," says Ronald G. Ehrenberg, director of the Cornell Higher Education Research Institute.

The first argument against "the Bennett hypothesis" is the relatively small size of the aid packages. Low-income students, for instance, qualify for Pell Grants that max out at $4,050 a year -- and, of course, only a minority of American students receive those awards. Even at a community college, Pell Grant money only accounts for about 15 percent of revenue, according to Carolyn Hoxby, a professor of economics at Harvard. At expensive elite colleges, the proportion of income from this source is minuscule.

A similar logic holds for loans, says Sandy Baum, an economist at Skidmore. The US Department of Education offers highly subsidized loans to poor students, along with moderately subsidized loans to middle-class students. The maximum loan in both cases is $2,625 for freshman, with the cap rising to $5,500 by senior year. "If all you can get as a freshman is a $2,625 loan, and the cost of attendance is $30,000, that's not being driven by the loan," she says.

In theory, students should still be driven to price-shop for colleges, since they're responsible for all costs above the grant and loan limits. That shopping may put downward pressure on tuition, though clearly the upward pressure from rising faculty salaries is winning.

The story may be different at extremely low-cost colleges. A study by Bridget Terry Long, of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, made headlines last month because it found that President Clinton's higher-education tax credits had not, as planned, led to increased rates of college attendance but instead had mainly given a financial boost to students who would matriculated anyway.

Less noted was her finding that the credits inspired tuition increases at the low end of the price scale. Because the credits cover the first $2,000 in each of the first two years of college, the few colleges that charged less than $2,000 -- mostly community colleges in the South and West -- raised their fees accordingly, Long found.

The loudest contrarian voice in this debate has been F. King Alexander, president of Murray State University in Western Kentucky. Alexander, also an economist, thinks federal policy discriminates against institutions like his that have labored to keep costs low. (Murray State costs about $3,400 a year for in-state students.) A poor high-school senior who chose, say, Duke (tuition: $29,350) over Murray State,

Alexander points out, would get several thousand dollars more in federal grants and loans simply because Duke charges more.Alexander, however, doesn't think that expensive public or private colleges are the worst offenders when it comes to manipulating prices to lure federal green. That honor belongs to the for-profit schools such as the University of Phoenix (tuition: $1,140 per five-week course) which "literally set their tuition based on how much aid they can acquire," he argues. That's their business plan: Their executives skim profits off the Federal Treasury.

Ironically, those are the institutions that Republicans point to as exemplars when they chide nonprofit colleges for being inefficient. "The biggest fallacy in American higher education is that for-profit universities live and die by the marketplace," Alexander says. "They don't. They live and die by federal direct student aid and state grants."

thoughts on this later.
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and it is math time again: Perfect and Surreal Numbers [Nov. 6th, 2003|01:53 pm]
[mood |teachery]
[music |Nickelback - Never Again]

mathematical concept: see below

Perfect numbers
Every number n is divisible by at least 1 and n. The sum of all divisors of n is called . If n = paqb..., where p, q ... are all primes, then σn = (1+p+...pa)(1+q+...qb)... . n is perfect if it equals the sum of it divisors including 1 but excluding n. In other words, n is perfect if σn = 2n.

Euclid in his Elements, IX.36 proved that if, for a prime p, p+1 = 2k, then 2k-1p is perfect. Leonhard Euler in a paper published posthumously, showed that every even perfect number has Euclidean form. Euler was absolutely blind for the last 18 years of his life. So it's likely this result was among those obtained by already blind Euler.

The first perfect number is 6 (=1+2+3). What's the second?

Surreal numbers
Surreal numbers have been invented by John Conway who, among many other things, created the famous Game of Life. Donald Knuth's brochure Surreal Numbers gives a very popular but rigorous introduction into the development of surreal numbers successively starting with literally nothing. This is the only aspect of the theory that I think is intersting.

A surreal number is a pair of sets {XL, XR} where indices indicate the relative position (left and right) of the sets in the pair. The first number to be constructed is 0={,} for which both left and right sets are empty. The rest of surreal numbers are formed starting with 0 and applying just two simple rules. Truly, it's a creation of something from nothing.

But it seems to me that the word "nothing" has 2 meanings, that cause trouble when confused: I will define "nothing" as a lack or emptiness. Or, I will define "no thing" as "of all things, none of them". Nothing is a thing, but no thing is not. Thus "A bagel sandwich is better than nothing and nothing is better than complete happiness thus a bagel sandwich is better than complete happiness" fails because the 2 meanings are confused. It should read: a bagel sandwich is better than nothing and no thing is better than complete happiness. The conclusion is now no longer possible.

well that is all for now children. off and away to an undisclosed location!
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okay what?! [Nov. 6th, 2003|12:03 pm]
School allows Jesus, Saddam parade floats
ORLANDO, Fla. -- Young Republicans can topple Saddam Hussein and Christian athletes can let Jesus rock their night away at the homecoming parade after high school officials agreed Wednesday to let their floats roll.

After officials at Dr. Phillips High School raised concerns earlier this week that the floats might offend some people, the students involved contacted the Liberty Counsel, an Orlando-based conservative civil liberties legal group.

"Schools cannot censor the message just because they disagree with the message," said Mathew Stover, president and general counsel of the Liberty Counsel.

Students dropped their plans to sue on First Amendment grounds after school officials agreed to allow the floats in Thursday night's parade.

"Students will be able to express the essence of their clubs and maintain proper decorum for our high school event," Principal Gene Trochinski said in a statement.

The Young Republicans Club plans to have students in black T-shirts with the word "Evil" bowing before a statue of Saddam. Other students in club T-shirts plan to chase the "Evil" students away with silly string, then topple the statue.

The Fellowship of Christian Athletes plans a float urging students to "Let Jesus Rock Your Night Away," in which students will tear up signs with the words "sex," "suicide," "depression" and "drugs."

right. My favorite in the whole thing is how they are going to rip up signs of depression. Interesting. Let me just tell my mom that. "Look mom, you have been suffering from sever depression most of your life. Did you know if you just found Jesus, you wouldn't have Bipolar Illness? Oh, wait, you did. Oh wait, you are still sick. Oh, and you are getting worse? Right, I thought that if you just found Jesus, you could choose not to get sick. Just as easy as you could choose not to have cancer or a heart condition or choose not to be blind. That is what these people think, and lots of other people." Yeah, that would go well. Atleast it isn't a deadly sin anymore (like it was in the middle ages). Another reason I hated ccd. Kept telling me that people choose to be depressed. Really people. Think about that.
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study break [Nov. 6th, 2003|11:33 am]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |blue man group - cones and rods]

mathematical concept: the goodness of hypothesis testing has come upon me again.

okay so I have been studying for many hours straight about abnormal psych, so I thought I would take a little break.
VT was awesome. We did tons of stuff, well, mostly touristy stuff. We went to ben and jerry's and the teddy bear company and stowe and this mountain place thingy in stowe I think. We went in the hot tub (I need to get one of those when I grow up and have a house, maybe). I met his sister, father, grandfather, dog, cat and saw his mom and step-father again. I bought apple butter and cheese. Yummy snacks.
And we went to the Old Navy in Burlington. Oh, my god. Well, first, it is a 12 reg double deep single main street. Which would say it is somewhat large. They have a pregnant woman section. But is it messy. It looked like 6208 when I first started. Everything was on the floor and people weren't doing saturday night folds. Oh well.
But VT was fun, really fun.
I finally found zobmondo! Yay! Jimmy, Katie, Krystal, Colin and I played last night. Funny stuff. I hope they liked it as much as I did. Although Colin said that Katie wanted to buy it, so I guess she liked it. Friday we are going to play again with Hannah and Tyson too. yay!
okay back to learning the sx, cx, bx, rx and tx of all mood, anxiety and eating disorders. whoo!
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what! now Sue too! [Nov. 3rd, 2003|03:26 pm]
SuebeeH161984 (3:25:23 PM): oh... hot tub
SuebeeH161984 (3:25:28 PM): so you got some action? ;-)
joy31415926 (3:25:31 PM): no!
joy31415926 (3:25:39 PM): why does everyone thing this!

people, I went to vt and had fun with his family! silly people!
I will update later on my clean and rated g weekend.
dirty minds people have.
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